We all have situations that didn’t work out – romance, job, hairdresser whatever. The problem is that very often it’s a situation that might have been remedied or tweeked if the person or persons involved didn’t try to play you for bad. Of course in romantic situations, some guys never really get it. They are so puffed up. They think In romance, you simply weren’t feeling the missed texts, calls, no dates, etc. – They thought you were happy to be part of a harem. You were like oh no, no thanks, you go ahead on with your bad self. They may have retorted with “you don’t understand” or “she’s just a friend” figuring they would pay the fine later. There might have been the possibility for friendship but you know when people play you for bad they never thought much of you (or themselves) to begin with. It was nice while it lasted – the best phrase ever!
Hurt always hurts. Sometimes people are crappy and unfortunate. It’s ok if you misjudged them or their intent. Sometimes it is intentional or they decided you were not worthy or they heard you were nuts or all of the above. Best to be clear and then move on. No need to be ashamed and no need to wonder. You are not missed. You were never there to them in the first place.
Arguably politically Donald Trump is not someone I necessarily agree with but he works hard and builds hotels and runs a massive business. Steadman Graham, long time fiancée to Oprah, had and maintains a thriving business on his own.
There is a phenom with pretty boys though, aging lotharios so used to being chased by women who they use to enhance their stature wealth etc. One fellow used his association with a woman to get a tribute built to his late wife. The men have no purpose and bring nothing to the table BUT a lot of show — short-term charitable activities, a speech here and there.
The honorable thing would be to say goodbye to thesevwomen and to put energy into being a man.
Get a job, lead the project, put muscle into seeing it through, stop looking for the hook-up – it is never too late – but for these aging pretty boys it may never come to fruition.
Sometimes things need softening in order to become tougher or stronger. Other times soft and mushy is how one feels and how one has to be. Often in love or romantic endeavors we are asked to get in the game. Funny when one is in love there is no need but to be real with one’s self.
A lot of people don’t belong in your space or in your life. Unfortunately you have to do business with them or visit them on holidays but often they are the residue of years of being honed to accept less and think you don’t deserve better. They are by nature jerks, happiest when they can find a way to put you down or make you feel pain. One can spend years trying to make these people happy or to try to engage them in activity or beg them to be a part of your life. Yes, one does this without realizing that their refusal is actually a blessing from God. Do you really want a childish, underemployed, selfish man who degrades you in public even if he is good looking and can fix things around the house? Why are you spending years with a man who said he will never marry or commit. Make no mistake the choice you are making for the prestige of having a man is from a position of self-loathing. Is being so and so’s girl or woman worth the price? Only to have them leave you weeks, month, years later for someone who does not have your lack of self respect. There are brothers that are worth it out there, even to date, why go out with a man who doesn’t have a job or have his act together,?
Do better for yourself. Put the empty jars on the shelf.
It’s time we ended the mythology of family. I watch a friend quietly being undermined by family members as she struggles with physical issues or another friend whose mama sabotages every romantic relationship. Not everyone has that support they need. End the BS. Free yourself. As for those with significant others who mirror family members. Lose them too. You deserve better.