We all have situations that didn’t work out – romance, job, hairdresser whatever. The problem is that very often it’s a situation that might have been remedied or tweeked if the person or persons involved didn’t try to play you for bad. Of course in romantic situations, some guys never really get it. They are so puffed up. They think In romance, you simply weren’t feeling the missed texts, calls, no dates, etc. – They thought you were happy to be part of a harem. You were like oh no, no thanks, you go ahead on with your bad self. They may have retorted with “you don’t understand” or “she’s just a friend” figuring they would pay the fine later. There might have been the possibility for friendship but you know when people play you for bad they never thought much of you (or themselves) to begin with. It was nice while it lasted – the best phrase ever!
Hurt always hurts. Sometimes people are crappy and unfortunate. It’s ok if you misjudged them or their intent. Sometimes it is intentional or they decided you were not worthy or they heard you were nuts or all of the above. Best to be clear and then move on. No need to be ashamed and no need to wonder. You are not missed. You were never there to them in the first place.
Sometimes things need softening in order to become tougher or stronger. Other times soft and mushy is how one feels and how one has to be. Often in love or romantic endeavors we are asked to get in the game. Funny when one is in love there is no need but to be real with one’s self.
It’s time we ended the mythology of family. I watch a friend quietly being undermined by family members as she struggles with physical issues or another friend whose mama sabotages every romantic relationship. Not everyone has that support they need. End the BS. Free yourself. As for those with significant others who mirror family members. Lose them too. You deserve better.
When I used to get my hair permed…the need for more chemical would happen after new growth came in. This was in part so the still permed hair would not break. I have found myself now with a lot of growth spurts. There are people who I learned should not have more than a minute presence in my life for various reasons. They were able to do their do for years without consequence but now (as I have natural hair) I am in a period of new growth. The chemical, the editing of one’s life never quite stops.
The Redskins won yesterday. For a time it looked like RG3 was going it alone as it had more than a free throwaways to keep himself from harms way. Life is a lot like that sometimes, but there are also the folks who come at you with wishes and demands and ill intent. It’s important not to let them sideline or outright “sack” you with their demands and criticisms. Use your inner offense to block them.
Sometimes after one finally let’s go of the issue, the person or the thing that is bothering them. Yes, things such as a worn out car it is still hard to let go of the habits that surround the interaction. Discussing, information seeking etc. The process does take some time but it is worth while. The ego is just gasping for air. Let it fade.
Yesterday, I had the privilege or distinct honor of being reminded that there are some places I really still don’t belong. I went to an international event where the official greeters were anything but welcoming, perhaps stressed but indeed hostile most people upon encountering the woman simply walked by the sign-in table and entered the auditorium for the program. While it was an international affair, she was indeed an angry African-American woman her lack of eye contact but unfortunate communication a true turn-off. I alsod didn’t fare well with another program participant – but as I knew that I had received a spiritual clue – I headed on home.
Rejection. No one likes it. I like many people have spent years avoiding it, negotiating it and ignoring it. I’ve built a career somewhat on not accepting rejection fully. There are all kinds forms and shapes of it. That special someone or some thiing does not want us. We try, we push we force. sometimes not accepting another person’s rejection is a dangerous enterprise. You can end up making them a source for your soul. Take the painful moment. It will subside. Instead of wasting years of your life on something that will turn to dust -let it go now.