Real Men Build It Themselves

Arguably politically Donald Trump is not someone I necessarily agree with but he works hard and builds hotels and runs a massive business. Steadman Graham, long time fiancée to Oprah, had and maintains a thriving business on his own.

There is a phenom with pretty boys though, aging lotharios so used to being chased by women who they use to enhance their stature wealth etc. One fellow used his association with a woman to get a tribute built to his late wife. The men have no purpose and bring nothing to the table BUT a lot of show — short-term charitable activities, a speech here and there.

The honorable thing would be to say goodbye to thesevwomen and to put energy into being a man.

Get a job, lead the project, put muscle into seeing it through, stop looking for the hook-up – it is never too late – but for these aging pretty boys it may never come to fruition.

Learning to Say No

Enough already, yet another request for free services, there are only so many hours in a day. People push lie and try to steal your hope, job and energy. They assure you they are different. Watch out for these flattering, well dressed poised for poison dart throwing and the love sick life sucking harpy in particular. The harpy should be avoided as often as possible she just perceives you as a rival. The dart thrower requires careful extraction.

Either way say just say no.

The Blame Glame – If You Took the Crumbs

If a man you are dating just dishes out crumbs don’t treat them like a gourmet meal. Its not just that’s he’s not into you, he’s doing it to keep you on call when he needs you. You are part of his fan club. Many men have these harems which some manage electronically.

If he does anything at the beginning of the relationship that shows disinterest or disrespect, especially in front of your friends…kick him to the curb, he’s already shown you who he is. .. Ignore the melting eyes and candlelit dinners. You are not the exception, He rules.

Baby I’m Back

Many of you know I am a fan of old television shows.  There was a show with less than a year run called “Baby I’m Back” starring Desmond Wilson.  Wilson also had great success with “Sanford and Son.”  The premise of Baby I’m Back was after seven years a man, who deserted his family, comes back to find that his wife has moved on.  The show didn’t catch on.  I guess  it was clear that this man who returned to his wife after seeing the world etc. didn’t really care about her, it was still more about him.   Perhaps though the show was really focusing on the wife who after years of grieving and suffering over a man who deserted her had finally decided to change her life and to move on.  In that sense she had finally been restored after years of agony.

Putting Someone in Their Place – Without Words

Sometimes it is not your imagination people want to do you in.  You take their advice and then they try to rope you in further to needing them.   What was a small problem with one individual suddenly looms large.  The best thing is to remove that person’s influence of you even for a moment.   Who knows why they are putting you down? Who cares? Be at peace

The Death of Sisterhood?

A friend died last week. She had been sick for a very long time. Years ago we had a falling out or rather I did, Mrs. B was never the kind to hold a grudge and she proved that when four years ago we reconnected through Facebook, it was shortly after that I found out she was sick, really sick. I thought about the wasted years and the tears and the fun, the other day at her memorial service. She was to most of her friends (and me) someone who relished sisterhood, a member of an African-American sorority who had a husband who was not of color and friends of women of all races, ethnic groups and ages. One of her compliments to me is I managed to stay “nice,” and succeed. You see, sisterhood and business don’t always mix. I try to be nice to share but I find that people don’t always get the memo that it should be reciprocated that time is valuable and that we must all sometimes fend for ourselves. Sisterhood during times of stress is sometimes over rated. Sorry Ivanla, Oprah and Mama Gena. Everyone is not your friend or your sister some people just use you.